Subject Line : My Sister
My sister Susie passed away on Tuesday April 6th. She was found in her bed. So, ends an unhappy life of suffering.
This was the email I received from my ex-husband a few days ago.
I was a rock star the day I met Susie and her twin, Liz. It was two days before I married their brother. How exotic I was to this Finnish family - the first non-Fin and non-Lutheran to marry into a tight-knit clan. My rock star status derived from my accent - British! The fact that I'm Irish was not worthy of mention. I sounded English and I was from "there"!
"Do you know the Beatles?" - 1966. These two bubbly, blonds (natural - they were a pure Finnish bloodline) besiged me shyly. I must have been an enormous disappointment to them. Not only did I not know the Beatles - I wasn't even au fait with their music. Now ask me about a Beckett or Albee play and I could have, would have, probably did drive them to distraction with quotes.
"But", I remember Susie confronting me, "you said you sailed from Liverpool so you breathed the same air"! Oh I did , Susie, I did. For you I feigned an interest, I signed a poster, I wrote a note to your high school classmate stating I came from Liverpool. I suppose in the parlance of today - I gained street cred and so did you.
When the questions, the desperate hope that this new sister-in-law could be worth something, persisted, I shot back with , "Do you know Elvis?" - they mock-fainted in unison. " Elvis." Hands on heart - give me room to breath.
A few years after we were married, the twins were involved in a car crash. Liz recovered, married, scooped me on the names I had planned for my children - her naming her daughter Jessica meant my first borne became Lisa, and naming her first son Ian, meant my third child was named Nicholas. I have no enmity - my kids become their names and are precious.
Susie did not recover. There was back surgery followed by a period of living with us. More surgery, constant pain, and the slow realisation that Susie thrived on the attention that pain brought to her. Her, brother, my then husband and a physician brought to the table the phrase "Munchausen Syndrome".
Divorce was bitter and for many years we were totally estranged - so much so that his family, one I loved dearly, were denied me. Occasionally I heard snippets - "Susie is ill. Susie has had all her teeth pulled. Susie cannot walk".
Perhaps it is a blessing that Susie died in her sleep. It is not a blessing that she died alone, and I do not want her death to go unnoted.
Purpose vs Intention & Creativity
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Purpose implies product. Product implies a plan and the expectation of
succeeding at that plan. But that mindset can often be antithetical to both
writing ...
So sorry for your loss. One of the hardest parts about divorce is the inevitable loss of family as well. Genny
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