Monday, June 8, 2009

Letting Go Is Hard To Do........

I can’t think of any career choice that is more consuming and rewarding than Motherhood. What could be more important than lovingly guiding a life to it’s own independence? I am blessed to experience motherhood three times, each different and the same.

As a mom I know unconditional love and with that comes the knowledge that if you have done everything right and life is kind the child grows up and moves out to find his or her own way. That is the typical cycle of life.

So if that is the case, why is it so hard to do? My first child, my son, went away to college right at the time I was going through my divorce. I was preoccupied to say the least and knew it was good, healthy actually, for him to get out of dodge. After college he moved even farther away to Chicago to begin his career. It has been nine years since he left for college and I miss him but am equally as proud at what he is accomplishing. I still cry after a visit from or to him but for the most part have adjusted.

Child number two, my daughter, graduated from college and moved back home for two years while her long time boyfriend went away to graduate school. She worked, paid rent and was able to save money for when she would venture out on her own. She did all the right things. Big mistake for me. I had let her go when she went to college and SHE CAME BACK! I work out of my home office so she and I had a lot of downtime together. She became my workout and cooking buddy. The time finally came for her to venture out. Two weeks ago I helped her drive across country to her new home destination. It was the most fun and hardest thing I have ever done, bar none. Scooting along in her little corolla, we saw the majestic mountains of Colorado, the sprawling farmlands of Nebraska and Iowa, and the rolling hills of Wisconsin where our journey ended. Since she was paying for half of the trip we worked together finding the best hotels for the buck and with that learned that you get what you pay for! It was a cherished, once in a life time experience for this parent. A treasured gift. Two weeks have gone by and I still have the deep gut wrenching hole called “missing.” It is like a part of me is gone. It would seem that if this were the normal cycle of life it would come naturally. I am here to say it does not.

I want to end with two thoughts.

First, letting go IS hard to do. As a parent we have to push the child out of the nest to experience all of life’s lessons, being there when he/she stumbles to help him/her stand again but allowing the stumble to occur. It is hard to cut the strings that bind them to you.

Secondly, heaven help child number three!

I welcome tips from anyone who has experienced this letting go process.

1 comment:

  1. Both my girls left home basically at the same time. We made that road trip to Wisconsin to drop off my youngest, the tears well up just thinking about it and it was 2 years ago. The oldest went to Cairo, Egypt for a year, so I felt that they were yanked out of the nest. No, it is not an easy thing having your children grow up and leave. I have come to enjoy the quiet, however when vacation time comes and everyone is is so much fun! My best tip...use skype, email, text messages and call as often as you can! Marla Regan,


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